If you found my fanfic online, I’m assuming you probably already know the source material pretty well. This section is mainly for the benefit of my real life friends, many of whom haven’t read Twilight or The Hunger Games, yet are still
being forced to kindly reading my fic.
On the surface Twilight might seem like a harmless read. Except, there are people out there who actually think Bella and Edward’s disturbing relationship is normal. IT. IS. NOT. IT IS ABUSIVE. If a guy ever treats you like that, RUN!! You are worthy of dignity and respect, so please don’t ever settle for anything less, okay?
Actually, it was farla’s particular sporking of The Hunger Games which inspired me to write my fic in the first place. It points out a lot of the plot holes and inaccuracies present in THG – things that went over my head the first time because I read it so quickly.
Forks Small town. Dreariest, rainiest place in USA. Except not really. Another research fail.
La Push Native American reservation, situated in Forks.
First Beach Well, it’s a beach.
Bella Swan Protagonist. Textbook Mary Sue. Also a horrid, whiny brat. Clumsy, falls over a lot. Has no personality, hobbies, interests or ambitions of her own. Goes on and on about being average-looking, yet somehow every single boy she meets falls madly in love with her.
Charlie Swan Bella’s overly indulgent dad. Chief of police. Loveable grouch.
Jacob Black Hot Native American boy, member of the Quileute tribe. Third wheel in Love Triangle Of Doom. The only decent character in the entire series.
Until Smeyer decided to make him a paedophile.
Billy Black Jacob’s dad and Charlie’s best friend. In a wheelchair. Possibly the chief of his tribe, but I’m too lazy to check.
Edward Cullen Obsessed Stalker Boy. Sparkly Vampire. Gagworthy. Absurd amount of screentime is devoted to flowery descriptions of his pale emo beauty.
Carlisle Cullen Edwarddad.
Esme Cullen Carlislewife.
Jessica Classmate. Crushing on Edward. Presented as annoying, jealous and whiny. Despised by Two-Faced User Bella.
Angela Classmate. Nice girl with glasses.
Mike Classmate. Nice, friendly, human: therefore despised and mocked by Bella. Inexplicably crushing on Bella.
Setting Dystopian future where boys and girls aged 11-18 are forced into an arena to battle to the death in the yearly Hunger Games.
Panem Formerly known as USA.
District 12 Coal mining district. Where the members of the Pointless Love Triangle live.
Capitol Evil dictatorship. Rules over all twelve districts.
The Hob District 12’s black market.
Silver parachute Method by which small gifts (such as food and medicine), paid for by sponsors, are delivered to tributes in the arena.
Peacekeepers Paramilitary force. Main role is to bully townspeople. Probably based on the SS.
Katniss Everdeen Protagonist. Cruel to a poor starving cat, therefore not worthy of living. Olive-skinned and grey-eyed, like most of the poor people in District 12. Nicknamed Catnip by Gale. Gag. Selfish, ruthless, generally heartless. Ridiculously skilled hunter, despite lack of training. Not as intelligent as she is made out to be. Another name for an aquatic plant.
Gale Hawthorn Studly Childhood Friend™. Skilled hunter. Inexplicably given a girl’s name. Olive-skinned, grey-eyed. Crushing on Katniss.
Baker’s son aka The Boy With The Bread. Boring sap. Crushing on Katniss since five years old (!) shudders
Madge Something or Other Mayor’s daughter. Nice girl. Exists solely to give Katniss a gold pin.
President Snow Series antagonist. Laughably inept villain. Smells of uhhhhhh…roses?!
Foxface Fellow Hunger Games tribute. Never given the dignity of an actual name. Automatically assumed to be sly, deceitful and cunning because she is um…red-haired. And apparently looks like a fox. Yes, of course, because there are real, live humans who resemble foxes roaming about all over the place. I see them all the time.
Rue Fellow tribute. Tragic little girl. Reminds Katniss of her sister. Exists solely to make Katniss look good.
Prim Katniss’ younger sister. And probably Peeta’s, too. Blonde, blue-eyed Mary Sue. Disgustingly sweet. Universally adored. Most likely talks with a revolting lisp.
Katnissmom Useless female who exists in the Vacuum Of Gloomy Depression after death of husband, aka Katnissdad.
Katnissdad Idealised Glorious Male. Blown to pieces in coal mine explosion, therefore dead. Appears far too many times in Great Flashbacks Of Devotion™.